


Welcome To Camp Haven

by oneifby (orphan_account)



Series: Pine Trees and Flannel [1]
Category: Haven - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Summer Camp, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-15
Updated: 2013-03-15
Packaged: 2017-12-05 09:00:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/721275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/oneifby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Claire gets a taste for chocolate, Duke has a knack for lanyards, Audrey takes care of everyone (and eventually herself), and Nathan learns where to get things engraved. Plus flannel. Lots and lots of flannel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Welcome To Camp Haven

**Author's Note:**

> For applebright and captainmarvel, in my first true fic.  
> With help from my own camp experiences (including a man who had us recite a prayer after camp and a huge game of Capture the Flag) and absurd pop culture knowledge.  
> Written during dead week, so my brain is pretty much fried. This was supposed to be less than a third the size. I guess the story took over.  
> Featuring Ryan Adams--Oh My Sweet Carolina (Live); Tim McGraw--Everywhere; Blitzen Trapper--Furr.

Audrey Parker pulled her threadbare duffle bags out of the trunk of her beige car, which she had borrowed from a very generous professor. Luckily he and his family were out of town for the summer, or it would have been impossible to get to camp. Especially here, in the middle of nowhere. It was twenty miles to the next town, on roads overshadowed by pine trees that she was pretty sure were older than the Declaration of Independence. The trees had filled her car with a sharp, sweet scent and she found herself taking deep breaths to fill her lungs further. Here that air was mixed with the smell of the lake.

Grabbing a hair tie off her wrist, she gathered her long blonde hair and fixed it into a high ponytail, out of her face, letting her bangs hang down.  She tugged at her navy blazer and slung the bag straps around her chest, grunting, and fumbled in her purse for the camp map which she could have sworn she put right at the top just for this purpose but had somehow migrated. To the same place her socks went when she put them in the drier. Purgatory, she guessed.

“You looking for something?”

Audrey jumped, losing her balance and beginning to topple under the weight of the bags. A man wearing a grey henley and oil-spattered jeans caught her and and propped her back up. Without prompting, he began to lift the bags over her head and hoist them over his broad shoulders as if they weighed no more than a breadbox.

She didn’t quite know what to say. “Um, thank you?”

He turned and stared at her blankly, waiting for another response.

“Oh, yeah, I am trying to find something actually. I’m the new Oak counselor. Well, my friend Claire and I are the new counselors. Audrey,” she added, sticking out her hand. He stared at it for a second, first ruffling his short blond hair before reciprocating.

“Dwight. Boat dock manager slash odd jobs man slash villain in all of the kids stories,” he said. “I live over there.” He pointed to a small cabin off the road, surrounded by pine trees.

“Well, Dwight, it sounds like you’re a good man to know,” Audrey observed. Dwight grunted and turned toward the camp, twisting his arms around the bags. She caught a glimpse of blue on the underside of his forearm.

“Woah! Sweet ink, man,” she exclaimed. Dwight perked up.

“You like tattoos?”

“Thinking of getting one myself. Maybe a bear eating an eagle eating a snake all along my back,” she said, drawing the image with her finger on her back. “What do you think?”

He chuckled. “Just let me know and I’ll come and hold your hand.”

“I’m kind of a pro,” she boasted. “I might take it better than you think I will.”

Dwight shook his head. “Welcome to Camp Haven, girl. I think you’re gonna like it here,” he said, smiling.

Audrey looked up at Dwight and grinned. “I think so too.”

 

A ten minute walk to the cabin to drop off her bag was followed by a five minute walk to the location where Claire’s note had indicated the group would be. Audrey spotted her best friend's red hair underneath one of the trees in the grove below, surrounded by children. Audrey nodded goodbye to Dwight, who took the opportunity to distance himself from the group.

Claire cried out gleefully, “Hello Partner-In-Crime! These are the wonderful future adults who we will be making sure don’t accidentally drown. Tiny ones, say hello to Audrey Parker.”

The children recited dutifully, “Hi, Audrey Parker.”

Audrey bent over to the eye level of a ten year-old and smiled broadly. “Hi girls! I’m so excited to spend time with you all this summer. I can’t wait to meet you and learn all of your names.”

Claire made a low pitched warning noise. Audrey looked up. “About that. The girls here and I have agreed on a... less than conventional naming system. Some would call it a maverick move. I would not argue with those people,” she said, beaming angelically.

Audrey glanced at Claire and back skeptically. “Right. So what have you all decided?”

“No, you’ll see, this is great. Right girls?” The girls nodded enthusiastically.

“Okay, so, the blonde one is Barbie. Barbie, ten-hut!” A small bleach-blond girl carrying a green duffle bag struggled forward and waved to Audrey.

Claire continued, “The tall one is Giraffe and the gymnast over here who was wedged between two rails when I picked her up is Monkey. At this point, I have to admit, I ran out of descriptive names. So I went for awesome ladies.”

“Well, we can always use more awesome ladies,” Audrey agreed.

“Right? Ergo: we’ve got HT here for Harriet Tubman, Hildawg for Hillary Clinton, aaand Simone de Beauvoir, but Simone or Sim for short. Now, this system is not perfect, especially because at this point I got bored and started pulling pop culture references-”

“Oh god.”

“-but I think you’ll find you really enjoy them. This is Buffy. I’m calling that one Clarice cause she distinctly resembles Jodie Foster.”

“Claire, none of them are going to get that reference.”

“They should. Hey, you think Wuornos would let us watch-”

“We’re not watching _Silence of the Lambs_ with the campers.”

“I was just aaasking.”

“And you’re not allowed to give them the original novel.”

“You. Are. No. Fun. Beth and Amy are the sisters here.”

“Of course.”

Claire rested her hand on the head of a freckled, red-haired girl. “And this lucky child gets Mini-me because of her beautiful ginger locks.”

“Run, kid, run. Escape while you still can.”

“Hush you, I am a perfect role model. All of these girls should look up to me.”

Audrey turned to the girls. “Guys, are you really okay with this system? Because we can just go back to your real names.”

“No, we like it,” piped Clarice. “It’s way prettier than my real name.”

“Yeah, it’s like a secret club,” chimed Giraffe.

“Ok,” Audrey said doubtfully, glancing to the saintlike Claire and back to the girls. “If you’re sure.”

“We’re sure,” the group chorused.

“NO FAITH. YOU HAVE NO FAITH IN MY LEADERSHIP ABILITIES. Alright, chickadees, it’s time to take a tour of camp and we get to show Audrey around too! Now, I know a few of you live around here. How many of you have been to camp before? ”

About half of the girls raised their hands confidently.

“Terrific! We’ve got some pros here, Audrey. Now, I’ve got something to tell you guys,” Claire confided, leaning in. “Your fearless leaders here have _not_ been to Camp Haven before. I’ve been here for about a week and I’m still getting lost occasionally. And Parker here got to camp after you guys did, actually. So at times (although we are incredibly intelligent and intuitive), we may need your help.

Audrey added, “So if you see something that’s not exactly kosher, or if you know something we should know, please please pleeease tell us. We’re brand new, but we already know we’ve got an awesome group. What questions do you guys have? Yes, Barbie.”

“Um...” Barbie looked away, suddenly shy.

“It’s okay, sweetheart,” Audrey reassured her. “You can tell me anything. I promise you all that.” Barbie smiled back bashfully. “We actually call it Haven, not Camp Haven.”

“Well, that’s excellent to know,” Claire said. “You all hear that? Haven. Anyone else?”

Mini-me raised her hand. “What’s ‘kosher’?”

“Oh good heavens,” Claire wailed dramatically. “They’ve sent me babies! Toddlers! Infants! I have so much to teach you little ones. Thank goodness we have a whole summer.”

****

The boys huddled together under the shade of a pine tree, unsure of each other, the new environment, and the whole camp experience. Some of them had flown in, and Dwight hadn’t said a word to them the whole way there from the airport. They had already decided that he was probably an axe murderer, because he was big, he had tattoos, and as they had drove up to the camp he had pointed out a small cabin and said, “That is my cabin. If you make noise in the general vicinity of that cabin before seven in the morning, I will drown you in the lake. Got that?” The boys had agreed not to make noise before seven.

Nathan strode up through the pine trees, purposeful and confident. His usually mussed hair had been combed to the best of his ability and he wore a ‘Hi, My Name is’ sticker affixed to his plaid, flannel shirt with his name spelled out in clean block lettering. The shirt had been tucked into his pants at some point in the not too distant past, but it was a rebellion shirt and it refused to be confined to its prison. Duke, lagging behind, had placed his name sticker on the pocket of his jeans rather than let it touch his leather jacket and had written his name as ‘Mr. Pirate’ in his messy scrawl. His hair was pulled back into a long ponytail, still wet, and when the boys saw his earring, they starting whispering to each other.

Nathan stopped in front of them, folded his arms across his chest, and beamed. They fell silent. “Hello, men. My name is Nathan Wuornos. You all have made a wise move today, joining us at Camp Haven.” Duke snorted, prompting a warning glare. “This summer will be one of the best of your lives. By the time you go home, you will have learned the importance of responsibility, the value of independence, and the joy of camaraderie. But you must listen to us, your counselors, and obey the rules of the camp.” Nathan wagged his finger at the campers, who looked confused, and a bit terrified. “If you do these things, I promise we can make men of of you.” He turned to Duke, who was no longer even trying to hide his smirk. “Anything to add, Crocker?”

“Thank you, Shang from the movie _Mulan_. Yeah, I’ve got a few things,” Duke said. He crouched down on his long legs in front of the kids. “Hey little dudes. I think we might skip the whole ‘men’ thing at least for a little while. I’m a lot more interested in HAVING FUN! AM I RIGHT?!” The boys cheered.

“All right, all right! We’re gonna build some stuff, paint some stuff, and kick ass [‘Duke! Language!’] at Capture the Flag! I am your friendly neighborhood Duke, this stick in the mud here is Nathan, also known as Junior Wuornos, aka Officer Krupke, and we will be your awesome counselors this year.” The boys nodded solemly. “Perfectamundo. Ok, as I point to you, please step forward and introduce yourselves so I know who to yell at when the cabin is on fire.”

In order, the boys stepped forward.

“I’m Jake.”

“Gary.”

“Everett.”

“I’m Charles but you can call me Charlie or Chuck if you want.” [“Charles Barkley! Right on.”]

“Mike.”

“Aaron.”

“Bryan.”

“My name’s Teddy.”

“Luke.” [“That’s not going to be confusing.”]

“And I’m Franklin.”

“Terrific! Okay guys, we’re going to go drop off the bags in the cabin--we’re in Lavender, in case you need to ask someone where it is at some point--and then we’re gonna walk around for awhile, maybe scrounge up some grub from Vince and Dave because I haven’t eaten in almost three hours and I am STARVING. How does that sound?” Duke finished. "Right, let's head out."

Duke leaned over to Nathan as the boys, struggling with their bags, followed, giggling to themselves. “Why are you doing this?”

“Doing what?”

“Acting like Captain Wuornos all of a sudden. You have been talking about this shit for months. You were almost peeing your pants last week in excitement.”

“I was not!”

Duke watched Nathan skeptically. “You came in and cleaned the cabin after Dwight had already done it, ‘ _just in case_ ’.”

“And I was right to,” Nathan said defensively. “I found a spider under one of the beds!”

“It’s a lake camp in Maine, Nathan. There are always spiders. I’m pretty sure there was a spider in my cereal this morning.”

Nathan fidgeted, pulling his flannel down. “Well, The Chief...”

“ _Oh god_. What did your dad do now?” Duke groaned. “Papa Wuornos strikes again.”

“Listen, we might not always get along, but he’s trying to prepare me,” Nathan argued.

“For what, World War III? You sounded like a Colonel just now.”

Nathan shrugged. “He wants to make sure I can take care of the kids and teach them in the right way.”

“Teach them? It’s summer. The only thing they should be learning is how to belly flop so that their stomachs are red for _at least_ five minutes. Loosen up a little, okay? It won’t kill you to have some fun this summer.” Duke put his arm around Nathan’s shoulders. “In fact, I’m going to be in charge of making sure you and all the boys here have fun. Yes? You in?”

Nathan threw up his hands in surrender. “Yeah, man. I’m in.”

The group stopped in front of the wooden cabin marked with a purple ‘LAVENDER’ sign.

Duke cheered. “ALL RIGHTY THEN. First order of business, men: find your bunk and drop your bag.” He pushed open the door as the boys ran past.

Nathan followed, calling, “Your bed is marked with your name tag!”

The boys scrambled towards the bunk beds, high fiving each other and pulling their name tags off the side. Duke grabbed Bryan’s tag.

“You made them name tags. And you _laminated them_ ,” Duke said, dumbfounded.

Nathan shifted his weight from one foot to another. “I wanted to make sure they didn’t get crumpled or dirty.”

“You are a big darn softie. Knew it all along.”

Nathan grumbled, “Ok, sure, you’re right, I’m a marshmallow. Can we just take them on the tour now?”

“To the tour,” Duke yelled.

“Tour tour tour tour tour,” the boys chanted. “TOUR TOUR TOUR TOUR.”

“Good,” Nathan said, as they cheered. “Tour it is.”

****

“Tour tour tour tour,” the boys chanted.

“Now, on your left, we’ve got the Lodge. _Oooooooh_ ,” Duke said.

“Ooooooooh,” the boys obediently repeated.

“The center of Camp Haven, this is where we will be having our meals (obviously a very important location) and meeting for camp-wide activities. Also contains the nurse’s office, so if you ever need anything or are bleeding to death, do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars, proceed _directly_ here,” Duke instructed. “Now, continuing, we have the path here down to the bonfire.”

“Teddy, grab on a bit tighter for a second,” Nathan said to the small boy on his back. “I need to, umph,” he mumbled, shifting Teddy’s legs higher. “Adjust. There we go. Perfect. You’re good.”

“Me next, right?” “No, me!” The boys clamored at Nathan.

“You’ll all get a turn,” he answered, looking down at them. “Everyone gets five mi-Oh, I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you there.” He bumped into someone and turned to apologize. His jaw dropped.

“Don’t worry about it,” Audrey replied. “Piggyback rides are a delicate operation.”

“They should really only be handled by professionals such as myself,” Claire added. “But the regulatory board is less than perfect.” The girls approached behind them, apprehensively eying the boys.

“Excuse me. I’m sorry,” Duke interrupted. “Who - who are you again?”

“I'm the new counselor," Claire answered. Duke stared blankly. "In the Oak cabin? Duke. We’ve met like three times, you dick. We shook hands. You had a weak grip.”

"Well with that kind of attitude, no wonder I don't remember you."

"I will grind your bones to make my bread."

"It's nice to meet you," Nathan said finally, having remembered to close his mouth and stop staring. He tried to discreetly glance at the name on Audrey's luggage and failed completely. "Lucy?"

"Oh, no, that's my mom's name on the bag." Nathan blushed, embarrassed. “I’m realizing it’s full of clothes that might not be... perfect for the weather here. I'm Audrey," she said, sheepishly motioning to her khakis, then reaching out to shake his hand. "Audrey Parker."

"Nathan Wuornos. It's nice to meet you, Audrey Parker." He smiled.

"Likewise." She glimpsed his blue-grey eyes and forgot to look away again. They stood there for a moment, lost.

Claire cocked her head. "When you blush, how far down does it go?" she asked.

"CLAIRE," Audrey said, appalled, while Duke cracked up.

"What?! He's a tall guy! What are you, 6'2, 6'3? It's a scientific question, Audrey. Blood rush of that magnitude could be dangerous. OW OW OW stop grabbing my arm that hurts!"

Audrey smiled apologetically as she dragged Claire away. "It was a pleasure to meet you both. We've got to finish showing our campers around. C'mon girls!"

The Oak girls reluctantly untangled themselves from the group where they had been learning about the scary tattooed man in the woods and watching their counselors interact with interest.

Nathan watched the girls leave without moving a muscle. Duke smirked. “Dude, you’re done for.”

Nathan shook his head and turned. “What’d you say? I’m done?”

“Don’t worry about it. You’ll figure it out soon enough,” Duke said. He turned to the boys, who had picked up sticks from the ground and were hitting each other. “TO THE CABIN!” They boys cheered.

****

"When did you last eat?" Claire asked.

Audrey thought for a moment. "Um... this morning?

"You're wasting away into nothing right before my eyes," Claire wailed. "How are you still upright? We're going to the kitchen pronto." She poked her head into the next cabin, Birch. "Hey Jules, can you watch our girls for like fifteen? I'm taking Audrey to get some snacks." A petite, ethereal-looking blonde came through the doorway, stretching and yawning. "Julia, Audrey; Audrey, Julia."

"Pleasure to meet the infamous Audrey," Julia said, proffering her hand. "We've heard a lot about you."

“Not all bad, I hope,” Audrey replied.

Claire poked her head into Oak cabin. "Girls, Julia's going to be looking after you all for fifteen minutes. We'll be right back, okay?" She turned back and grinned. "We're good to go."

Audrey's gaze slowly traveled up the wooden building in front of her. Claire had pointed it out to her and the campers during their tour, but she had given it only a cursory glance. It was too big to see all in one, so she stood back and tried to soak it in. Different decks projected out, some made of new, clean wooden planks, some overhung by log awnings. There were windows just below the roof, but the Lodge gave the impression of being one big room inside, with lots of natural light. The walls were mostly untouched, a natural wooden brown, but the roof was a burnt red, and the four sets of doors reaching high were painted spruce green.

“Impressive, huh,” Claire said. She moved back to stand with Audrey. “It’s the kind of place that you feel should have a medieval servants’ quarters. Or an elevator. Definitely some kind of butler. Let’s go, I’m starving.”

Claire grabbed the brass handle and yanked open the door. She ushered Audrey through hallways, where the walls were covered in a mix of camper art and photographs--Ansel Adams, Walker Evans. Finally, they entered the dining room. This was the huge room Audrey had imagined, filled with tens of empty tables which had been drawn, scratched, and spilled on so many times they had changed color all together. Serving stations lined the walls, spotless and shining. Wooden beams above cast criss-crossing shadows in the morning light.

“For dinner, try to get some lentils in. It’ll go well with the rice. Give ‘em balance,” said a gruff voice came from behind the swinging doors. “And three kinds of dessert? I don’t think so.”

A short, stout man with wild, graying hair and a rough beard pushed the door open. He held it as two men passed through. The one with glasses rubbed his balding head anxiously. The other could have passed for an extremely tall Santa Claus with a fake beard and his long hair dyed snow white. He fidgeted with his cuffs, listening intently until he saw the girls.

“Claire,” he exclaimed. “What can we do for you?”

All three turned.

“Hey guys. I’m just looking for a bite for my friend here. Actually,” she turned to Audrey, “This is perfect. Audrey, meet our boss.”

“Garland Wuornos,” the gruff man said. “Welcome to Camp Haven, Audrey.”

“Mr. Wuornos,” Audrey said, stepping forward with her hand outstretched. “So nice to finally meet you.”

Wuornos returned the gesture. “You can call me Chief, Parker. Glad you could join us. Oak cabin, is it?”

“Yeah,” Audrey acknowledged. “I just met the girls and they’re all terrific.”

Claire spoke up. “This is Vince,” she said, pointing to Santa, “and Dave. My favorite brothers.” Dave took off his glasses and wiped them on his shirt before stepping forward. “Enchanted,” he said, kissing Audrey’s hand. “Why don’t we take Claire into the back and rustle up some snacks? Give you two a chance to get acquainted.” The men didn’t wait for an answer, but took Claire by the arm and passed through the doors, leaving them swinging.

The Chief shook his head. “They’re going to ignore everything I just said, of course,” he sighed. “But they’re the best, what can I do?” He gave Audrey a one-over. “Parker, you planning on hiking in that outfit?”

“Yeah, I’m realizing my clothes won’t exactly fit in here,” she said, smoothing her shirt.

“Well, you’ll take care of that,” he said. “Someone’ll help you. There are some stores a ways away, and you can always borrow stuff until your off day.” She nodded, and there was an uncomfortable pause while the voices in the kitchen continued muttering.

“Chief, I think I met your son earlier,” Audrey observed. “Nathan?”

“Yes, that’s my boy,” Wuornos replied proudly. “I wouldn’t let him work here until he had graduated school, so it’s his first summer as a counselor too. Of course, he’s grown up around this place, but in other ways, you two are in the same boat.”

Audrey smiled. “He seemed quite at home with the boys.”

“He’s a good kid,” Wuornos admitted. “A bit loose at times, but he just needs some guidance.” Wuornos suddenly realized he was sharing family information with a woman he had just met, and shook himself bruskly. “Well, I think I’m all done here. Let Vince and Dave know that I’ll be in my office if they need anything.” He hesitated, then put his hand on Audrey’s shoulder. “If I can help in any way, Parker, please let me know.”

She ducked her head and the Chief escaped out the doors into the hallway quickly.

Dave pushed open the swinging doors a crack and looked out. “Is he gone?” he whispered loudly. Audrey checked the doors the Chief had left through, then nodded.

“Thank god,” exhaled Dave. He whistled to the other two, who followed him out of the kitchen. “That man insists on trying to mess with our menu.”

“Who knows what kids like better than us?” asked Vince. “I’ll tell you: nobody.”

“Plus he scares the bejeezus out of me,” Claire added. She had been loaded up with green and red apples, a jar of peanut butter, and a tupperware container packed with lemon bars. “I know he’s a good guy, but I mean, come on. He was a police chief fifteen years ago and I still feel like he’s interrogating me every time I talk to him.” She handed off the apples to Audrey and then high-fived Dave. “Thanks, dude.”

“If you’re ever hungry or need anything for a day trip--packed lunches for the campers, s’more materials--just come to us,” Vince told Audrey. “We’re always here for you guys.”

“I definitely will,” Audrey smiled. “Thank you so much for all of this. I can’t wait to taste dinner tonight. I bet it’ll be amazing.”

“Macaroni and cheese with a baked garlic crust,” Dave sighed. “My masterpiece.”

“You say that about everything you make,” Vince argued. “And it was my idea!”

The two retreated to the kitchen, fighting. Vince waved to Audrey and Claire as they went through the swinging doors and Dave called out, “Come by anytime!”

  
Campfire **  
**

The female counselors banded together, herding their kids down to the bonfire after dinner. The men followed close behind--the Chief had already taken the boys down to give them the ‘How to be a Good Man’ talk.

“So how’s your first day been,” Julia asked Audrey. “Haven everything it’s cracked up to be?”

“God, everyone’s been so nice and helpful. I’m pretty sure I gained ten pounds from that dinner. And I found this shirt on my bed,” she said motioning to the red and blue flannel that had replaced her blazer. “The Chief is so thoughtful. I told him that I needed some different clothes--he must have had someone drop this off as part of my welcome gift.” Nathan blushed and looked away. Audrey missed the flush of his cheeks, but before Julia could reply to her story of the Chief’s new generosity, Duke groaned.

“Duke?” Audrey turned. “You okay?”

“I’m _fine_ ,” Duke said. “Just preparing myself for the inevitable heartbreak of a man-child.”

“I don’t understand half the things you say,” Julia replied. “But it is _always_ fascinating listening to you talk.”

“I live to serve, milady,” Duke grinning crookedly before bowing and kissing her hand. Claire mimed vomiting.

****

The Chief stood up to close out the bonfire, which had mostly been explanations and introductions.

“For our new campers, and new counselors, we’ve got a bit of a ritual we do every night here at the campfire,” he began. “Just a bit of a ‘thanks for being here’ and trying to make tomorrow as good as today was. I’ll start, and you all can repeat after me.”

He scanned the campers falling asleep around the embers from the fire and cleared his throat: “ _Protect us, Lord, as we stay awake; watch over us as we sleep, that awake, we may keep watch with Christ, and asleep, rest in his peace._ ” The campers repeated the phrase. “Good. All right now, all together.” He and the rest of the camp said the prayer together as the final flames faded out into blackness.

“It’s been a great first day, Camp Haven,” Chief Wuornos said quietly. “I’m very proud of you all. We’ll see you tomorrow. Good night.”

The counselors pulled themselves up from their seats, started rousing their campers, and herding them towards the cabins.

  
Archery **  
**

Audrey piled the bows up, preparing the outdoor range for the kids’ arrival in ten minutes. She checked each station to make sure it had the right number of safety arrows and then her watch. “Where is he,” she groaned. “If Chris no-shows again...”

A voice came from behind her: “Right here.”

Audrey spun around. “Nathan,” she said, her surprise showing in her voice. “I thought I was doing this session with Chris.”

“Yeah, Chris was feeling a little under the weather,” he responded. “I offered to fill in. Second time I've done that for him in the three weeks of camp so far, actually. I hope that’s okay with you. Don’t worry, I won’t hold you back. This used to be my favorite activity as a camper.”

Audrey smiled. “No, not at all! You’re looking dressy, though. Sure this isn’t taking up your time?” she questioned.

Nathan looked down at his long-sleeved light blue button-up shirt and dark jeans. “Oh, this? No, I just went into town with the Chief earlier to talk to some contractors. He’s thinking about putting a little house closer to the road for winter. He’s not as young as he used to be, and I want him to be able to get help if he needs it. Actually, my mom bought this shirt for me,” he remarked. “Before she passed away.”

“Nathan, I’m so sorry,” Audrey said, putting down the bows and turning to him. “It’s a beautiful shirt. It matches your eyes. Your mother had great taste.”

He smiled. “You know, she said that exact same thing when she gave it to me. It’s been a long time. The Chief and I had a rocky road for a while, but we’re at peace with it now. But enough about me. Come on, Parker. Let’s see what you’ve got. Hit me with your best shot.”

Audrey grabbed a crossbow and arrow off the rack behind them, adjusted her stance, nocked the arrow, and let fly. Bullseye at thirty meters.

Nathan whistled. “You’re pretty good with that crossbow,” he observed.

Audrey winked. “I’ve got some hidden talents. I lost my flask before I came up here, or I’d show you that talent too.”

“AUDREYYY,” the approaching kids screamed.

“Hey guys,” she shouted. “Who’s ready for some Hunger Games?!”

  
Town Run

“HEY AUDREY!”

“What’s up, Duke?”

“How do you feel about going for a ride to town? I hear you’ve got some clothes to buy, and I’ve got to get some pieces for Dwight’s repairs.”

“You’re a lifesaver.”

“That’s what they tell me! Hop in.”

“...”

“So, from what I hear, we’ve filled the ‘Camp Mom’ position.”

“What do you mean?”

“ _Three_ of my boys came up to you at dinner last night and I know for a fact they all had things on their mind. You solved a fight between Claire and Tommy, and even Chief Wuornos thinks you’re a ‘good kid’. That’s straight from the horse’s mouth, by the way. You fix things, Audrey.”

“I guess it comes naturally to me. It’s not like I’m doing anything special.”

“Ergo: Camp Mom.”

“The name makes it sound like I had two hundred kids.”

“Well, you could be very prolific, I don’t know.”

“I hate you. No, I like helping! If they can’t solve things themselves, usually I’m able to assist in some way--emotional support, an objective opinion, eagle-eyed key finding skills. I enjoy fixing problems for people.”

“I know you do. Just... make sure you’re helping yourself too. Gettin’ in some ‘Audrey time’.”

“What does that even mean, Duke?”

“Be open to _new experiences_ at Haven. Um, you know, like hikes and stuff. Fishing.”

“Actually, that’s not bad advice. I will definitely try that.”

“Okay, there’s the thrift store, I’ll be in the tool shop, meet you back here in a half hour. Break!”

****

“You weren’t wrong, this froyo is amazing.”

“And in the middle of nowhere too! You know, Audrey, sometimes you find the best things in the weirdest places. I like to try everything at least once. It’s part of my holistic approach to life. And if I get arrested while trying that particular thing, so much the better. I can’t tell you the number of times Nathan has bailed me out of a tricky situation. Or even literally brought me bail.”

“You know, I think you and Claire would be really good friends.”

“Sure, just like oil and water are good friends. Rap and sporting professionals. Abstinence and teenagers.”

“Are you done?”

“Wait, hold on. Propane and fire. Now I’m done.”

“Thank god, because I think I see the camp.”

“Wait, what time is it?”

“5? Oh, no, it’s 5:15.”

“Crap, I’ve got to go talk to the Chief. Do you mind dropping these off with Dwight?”

“Sure, no problem.”

“Thanks, Mom.”

“Ohh, and that’s going to be my new name. Terrific.”

****

After searching the camp for ten minutes, Audrey finally spotted a big blonde next to a tiny one.

She approached the two of them quietly. “Audrey,” cried Barbie, looking up. “Come meet my daddy!”

“I got to meet your dad a little while ago,” Audrey said, crouching next to her on the ground where Barbie was building a house out of sticks. “How cool is it that he gets to be here while you’re here?”

“Super cool,” Barbie agreed.

Audrey turned to the father in question. “Hey Dwight, I’ve got some pieces for you here from Duke’s town run.”

“Finally,” he sighed. “That boy was supposed to go a week ago.”

Audrey shrugged. “Well, better late than never, I guess.”

Barbie spoke up. “Audrey, did you know that my momma used to live here too?”

Audrey glanced at Dwight before replying, “Nope, I didn’t know that.”

“And then she had to go away to Heaben, but she left me so my daddy could have a friend!”

Audrey looked at Dwight, who mouthed “Heaven.” She nodded back.

“That sounds like a wonderful place to be,” Audrey said carefully, “but I bet your daddy is very glad to have you here with him.”

“You’re right there. Sweetheart,” he said, “I think it’s almost dinnertime. Why don’t you go wash up back at your cabin?”

“Okay, Daddy. Love you!”

“Love you too. Bye Pretty Girl,” he said.

“Bye Big Daddy.”

Audrey and Dwight watched the little blonde girl skip away. She said softly, “She loves telling the other girls about you, you know? Last night when we were turning off the lights, she was telling them how her dad had built her whole house from wood he cut down 'hisself' and that he had wrestled a bear to the ground.” She chuckled. “Is any of that actually true, by the way?”

Dwight smiled and wiped his hand under his eye. “Yeah,” he said gruffly. “All of it.”

  
Guitar Lessons **  
**

Nathan came back from pulling another guitar from the stash for the extra camper to catch Duke in the middle of explaining one of his ‘special songs’ to the rapt campers.

"Duke, what's a chicken man?"

"Well, Jason, in the 50s, there was a man named Philip Testa who was part of the mob, the Mafia. What Bruce is trying to say here is that the 'chicken man' is dead and the violence related to gambling in Philadelphia is rising. So when he tells his girlfriend that 'everything dies', he's trying to justify the job to himself."

"What job?"

"He's going to kil-"

" _Duke._ "

"He's going to kill at the comedy club! Who wants to learn Smoke on the Water?"

“I’ve got a better idea,” Nathan interjected. "What about, like, a forest song?" He began to strum the opening chords.

“YES,” Duke cried out.“I love this song,” he told the kids.

Nathan crooned, “Yeah, when I was only 17, I could hear the angels whispering,”

Duke took up the tune. “So I drove into the woods and wandered aimlessly about,”

****

 

 

_“Until I heard my mother shouting through the fog._

_It turned out to be the howling of a dog,_

_Or a wolf to be exact, the sound sent shivers down my back_

_But I was drawn into the pack and before long_

_They allowed me to join in and sing their song_

_So from the cliffs and highest hill, yeah_

_We would gladly get our fill_

_Howling endlessly and shrilly at the dawn_

_And I lost the taste for judging right from wrong_

_For my flesh had turned to fur, yeah_

_And my thoughts, they surely were_

_Turned to instinct and obedience to God.”_

****

Nathan glanced at Duke quickly. “Skip the chorus?” he mouthed. Duke nodded. They waited out the bridge, extended it, and started again.

****

 

 

_“On the day that I turned 23, I was curled up underneath a dogwood tree_

_When suddenly a girl with skin the color of a pearl_

_She wandered aimlessly, but she didn't seem to see_

_She was listenin' for the angels just like me_

_So I stood and looked about_

_I brushed the leaves off of my snout_

_And then I heard my mother shouting through the trees_

_You should have seen that girl go shaky at the knees_

_So I took her by the arm_

_We settled down upon a farm_

_And raised our children up as gently as you please.”_

****

There was silence for a second before the campers clamored, “AGAIN, AGAIN!” Nathan and Duke grinned.

“I’ve got an idea,” Duke said, turning to Nathan. “How do you feel about public performances?”

  
Campfire, part dos

After Chief Wuornos had called the counselors of each cabin forward and they had all described what their campers had done that day that deserved special praise, he stood at front of the stage. “Tonight,” he started, “we’ve got a bit of a special treat for you all. My son, Nathan, and Duke have prepared something. Boys, come on down.”

Nathan and Duke stood up and grabbed their guitars, walking past the giggles and snickering. They sat down on two low wooden chairs at the front of the stage, and waited for the noises to die down. “ _Shh_ ,” said the counselors.

Nathan cleared his throat. He played with the strings a bit, humming to himself and adjusting the pegs back and forth.

“Let’s go, son,” Chief Wuornos said. “We ain’t got all night.”

Nathan swallowed deeply and turned his head to Duke. “You ready?”

“Yeah, man,” Duke replied. “Now or never.”

Nathan nodded and plucked the strings of his guitar. His soft, deep voice began to lift.

“Oh, I went down to Houston,” he sang, “And I stopped in San Antone,”

****

 

 

_I passed up the station for that bus_

_I was trying to find me something_

_But I wasn't sure just what_

_So, I ended up with pockets full of dust_

_So I went on to Cleveland and I ended up insane_

_I bought a borrowed suit and I learned to dance_

_I was spending money like the way it likes to rain_

_Man, I ended up with pockets full of cane_

****

The campers who had been whispering excitedly to each other fell silent. The light from the fire in the middle burnt shadows onto their faces as the smoke drifted lazily towards the stars. Duke began to strum gently, and then chimed in, Nathan taking the higher part to harmonize.

****

 

 

_Oh my sweet Carolina_

_What compels me to go_

_Oh my sweet disposition_

_May you one day carry me home_

****

Duke had his harmonica ready in his pocket and mournfully wailed the bridge, a tune that sounded like something great, something ineffable was dying. A frog croaked in the distance and one of the younger campers asked if he could go to the bathroom. His bunkmates shushed him. One of the counselors slapped a mosquito on her arm. Nathan continued.

****

 

 

_Up here in the city feels like things are closing in_

_The sunset’s just my light bulb burning out_

_I miss Camp Haven and I miss my family_

_All the sweetest winds they blow across the lake._

****

Duke added his voice again for the final chorus, but faded out for the last line.

****

 

 

_Oh my sweet Carolina_

_What compels me to go_

_Oh my sweet disposition_

_May you one day carry me home_

_Please darlinggg, carry me home_

****

Nathan trailed out, the guitar chords echoing into the group space and the fire fading into embers glowing in the darkness.

“Ok,” Chief Wuornos said softly, almost a whisper. He walked to the stage and touched Nathan and Duke on the shoulder to signal them to return to their seats. Once they had done so, he began again. “Everyone look up. See the stars. Glimpse a mere fraction of the light shining down upon us.” He took a deep breath, and the camp began with him: “ _Protect us, Lord, as we stay awake; watch over us as we sleep, that awake, we may keep watch with Christ, and asleep, rest in his peace_.”

“Now everyone find your counselors and head back to the cabins. Goodnight, Haven, sleep tight, and we’ll see you all tomorrow.”

The campers dutifully and sleepily lined up in their rows, with a counselor in the front and in the back, in case any of them gets lost during the sixty meter walk which, as Duke had explained to Wuornos on multiple occasions, is “idiotic, if they can’t survive a 60 METER WALK BACK TO THE CABINS IN A LINE we should leave them to die in the woods.” Regardless, Duke stood at the head of Lavender cabin’s line, Nathan at the back and Claire and Audrey at the front and back, respectively, of Oak’s group. As Chief Wuornos walked back to the lodge, Nathan caught Duke’s eye and they nodded to each other. Nathan bent down and whispered to Aaron, “Bud, I’m going to stick around here for a bit. Stay close to the guy in front of you, ok?” The boy made a sleepy motion that seemed to indicate agreement. Good enough. Nathan caught Audrey’s eye and motioned for her to stay behind. She looked confused, but went up and whispered to Claire, who shot Nathan a quick glance and then waved her off.

The campers and their counselors filed off back to the cabins. Once the fire died out, Nathan’s eyes had adjusted to the light of the stars and the moon. The water of the lake was still but he could hear grasshoppers chirping. His palms began to sweat and he wiped them on his jacket.

“What’s up?” asked Audrey, watching him.

Nathan avoided eye contact. “So I-I, um,” he stuttered. “I sort of got you something. I mean, I did get you something, you can’t sort of get someone something, you either do or you don’t.” He pulled something out of the pocket of his sweatshirt, hastily wrapped in thin tissue paper and handed it to Audrey. She began to unwrap it as Nathan blabbered on.

“It’s not a big deal or anything, you just said you didn’t have one, if you don’t like it that’s totally fine, no worries or whatever. I just thought maybe you’d like it.”

“A flask. You got me a flask.” Nathan reached out and turned it over in her hands before putting his hands back in his pockets.

“A flask with my name engraved on it?”

“I, yeah. It’s whatever, the nights out here get pretty cold and I didn’t want you to lose it, that’s if you want it, I mean, if you-”

“I love it.”  She put her hand to her chest before looking up and smiling at Nathan’s surprise.

“You do? Are you sure? Because if you don’t, I can take it back...”

“Nathan. I _really_ love it. Thank you,” she said, touching his arm gently. The air grew thick.

“You’re welcome,” he said, gazing into her eyes. His breath caught in his throat.

“Oh, shit,” Audrey said suddenly, glancing at her watch and startling Nathan. “We gotta go, lights went out like ten minutes ago.”

“Crap,” he said, slowly remembering that they had campers and camp and things that they had to do that did not involve flasks and standing in the moonlight. “Okay. I’ll... I’ll see you later then?” He watched her face hopefully.

“Yeah, Nathan, we’ll see each other tomorrow.” Audrey stowed the flask in her back pocket and turned to leave as he reluctantly did the same.

“Oh, yeah, I mean, well, yeah.” He shuffled his feet in the dirt.

Audrey jogged back to the girls’ cabin and just before she disappeared from sight, she yelled, “Good night, Nathan!”

A smile spread across his face as he walked back in the moonlight.

  
Bedtime

Nathan undressed in silence, careful not to wake the campers. Duke was not as lucky. It started with a whisper.

 _"Duke."_ When that got no response, the whisper became harsher. _“Duuuuke. Duke, are you awake? Dude. DUKE._ ”

“AUGHREWJK.” Duke spluttered awake, startling the campers.

Mike cried out, “What happened?!” Franklin grabbed for his teddy bear.

“Nothing guys,” Nathan comforted them. “Go back to sleep.” He turned to Duke and whispered, “ _Not you._ ” Duke groaned.

They waited the requisite five minutes until tiny snores once again filled the cabin.

"I did it, I gave it to her!"

"What did you give to who?"

"Oh, this fla-"

"Jesus, Nathan, I was joking, you've only been obsessing about it for the last week and you asked me where you could get something engraved."

"You’re a dick.” There were low snores in the cabin for a minute.

“Duke?"

"Yeah, Sugar."

"Do you think she likes me?"

There was a deep sigh in the darkness, the campers all sleeping soundly.

"I know she does. Try to get some sleep, yeah?"

“I’ll try. You next, man.”

“Over my dead body.”

“Methinks the lad doth protest too much.”

“If you’re gonna quote Shakespeare, do it right. ‘The lady doth protest too much, methinks.’”

“...My point stands. _And_ you just called yourself a lady.”

“I’m not arguing this with you tonight. I’m too tired.”

“We’ll pick this up tomorrow. We’re not done here!”

  
Free Time **  
**

Three of the Oak girls approached the hammock, which was swinging and had a handmade ‘ _DO NOT DISTURB OR I WILL EAT YOU_ ’ sign.

“Claire?”

“Yes, teacup humans?” Claire replied absentmindedly.

“What do you think of Duke?”

She stopped, put down her copy of Crime and Punishment (in the original Russian), and turned towards them suspiciously. “Why do you ask?”

“Nothing,” Barbie said. “It’s just...”

Claire swung her legs over the side of the hammock. “Spit it out. I don’t have all day.”

Mini-me toed the dirt, becoming very interested in an earthworm. “We think _maybe_ we might have heard that he was asking where you were and why you weren’t at breakfast,” she confided, the words tumbling out. “And that he was going to go try to find you.”

“And how exactly did you hear this?” Claire glanced back and forth between the girls.

“I heard it from Teddy who heard it from Mike. He said that Duke was sitting next to Bryan and he asked Nathan where you were,” said Barbie shyly.

“God, how do you remember all these names. Ok, sure,” Claire said, “but why would this be important. Maybe he just wanted to yell at me for letting the paints dry up.”

“Well, Teddy said that Mike said that he went off to pick some flowers,” Monkey remarked. “And that he had made a _super extra-special_ vase yesterday during pottery.”

“Suuuure, he did,” Claire laughed, turning back to her book. “Duke doesn’t go for girls like me. He likes fairy princesses, in floating white gowns, who won’t take him down a few pegs when his ego is bigger than his head. Great with you guys, though, gotta give him that. Isn’t it time for archery?”

The girls walked away quietly.

“Well, that was, like, a total failure,” whispered Barbie.

“You don’t know anything,” Monkey said. “That worked perfectly.”

“We’ve planted it in her brain,” Mini-me agreed. “No matter what she said, now she’s gonna be thinking, like, what if Duke actually likes me? And looking at stuff he does all the time and thinking about him differently and stuff. You know?”

“And we didn’t lie, Teddy and Mike actually said those things,” Monkey added.

“But only because you told them to say that,” Barbie protested.

“But they still said it, didn’t they?”

“Okayyy... I guess so.” Barbie stuck her hands in her pockets.

Monkey put her hands together. “Time for phase two.”

  
Lanyards (a.k.a. Phase Two) **  
**

“Duke, can you fix this?”

“Duke, she’s hogging the colors I want.”

“Can you clean my glasses?”

The last was a little boy who offered them mournfully, like a sacrifice to a vengeful god.

“Sure, little buddy,” Duke replied cheerfully, stopping in front of him and taking the glasses. He started to put them to his shirt, thought the better of it when he saw the glaze stains, and grabbed a clean cloth from the supplies box. He bent over and placed them gently back on the bridge of the boy's nose.

“All better?" he asked. The boy nodded happily. "High-five!”

As the kid scampered away, Duke scanned the campers around him. About twenty girls and a similar number of boys sat criss-cross applesauce, plugging determinedly away at their lanyards.

He rubbed his chin stubble and asked the group loudly, “Not that I don’t love having you all here, because I totally do, but why the sudden interest in lanyards?”

"We really like making them," Barbie said.

"Yeah, they're cool," Aaron added.

Duke shrugged. "Well, okay then." He pivoted around to grab some more hooks from the box and was rummaging around when Mini-me added, “Plus Claire was just saying you are one of the best counselors here. ** **”  
****

Duke's movements stopped dead.

"What was tha-at?" he asked, his voice cracking. He kept facing the supplies and then began moving again perfunctorily. He took lids off and then put them back on.

"Yeah, she was saying how great you are with kids," Mini-me remarked.

"She was saying how you didn’t like girls like her and then she stopped talking to us." Barbie frowned. "Did you make Claire sad?"

Duke's voice got very high. "No! I mean... not on purpose," he said, swallowing and turning to face them. “You should _never_ make anyone sad on purpose, you guys. And even if it’s accidentally, you should apologize.”

“Are you going to apologize to Claire?” Barbie asked.

He cleared his throat, moving away quickly. “Look at that _beautiful_ lanyard. We’ve got a lanyard professional over here. Soooo good, you guys.” The girls smirked at each other.

  
Painting **  
**

“Nathan, did you grab the brushes?”

“Yeah, they were underneath the paint.”

“Sit your cute butt on over here next to me. The kids are fine painting for now. Once we see them starting to throw paint, that’s when we get involved. Ok. So if the kids keep washing them off in the dishes of water, we shouldn’t have to throw out too many with bristles that have dried together. Or we could use them as darts. We have that kind of power.”

“No one man should have all that power.”

“Oooh, Wuornos, you just unlocked a new level. In my heart.”

“I’m glad we’re getting this time together, Claire.”

“Indeed, truly a momentous occasion. The fates have aligned.”

“What does that mean?”

“Oh, don’t pretend like you haven’t been switching the schedules so you can spend more time with Audrey.”

“Is it really that obvious?”

“To everyone but her. Your secret is safe from the one person who matters.”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Shoot, Jellybean.”

“Is that my nickname now?”

“Embrace it. Fear it?”

“...I’m on board. Ok, question: am I barking down the wrong path? Is Parker, uh, even open to someone coming into her life?”

“First, let me say that ‘the time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.’ Second, Audrey is my best friend in the whole world. She is great with helping other people. And she is one bad-ass mother. But in terms of her love life, she hasn’t been super lucky. She’s delicate, man. You handle with care, you hear me?”

“Loud and clear, Pippi Longstocking.”

“Hey, I am trying to help you.”

“...Lucille Ball?”

“Done.”

“Pleasure doing business with you.”

“...”

“...”

“I’m _really_ enjoying the Justin Bieber the kids have been painting to.”

“He’s a talented lad.”

“So much potential.”

“Just needs someone to guide him in the right direction.”

“He’ll be wrapping up Grammys in no time.”

“Claire? I think I painted my hair green.”

“Oh, look at that, counselor quiet time is over.”

  
Bedtime redux **  
**

“I really, really have to talk to you,” Claire pleaded. “The menfolks are driving me crazy.”

“Claire, quiet!” Audrey whispered. “The girls?”

“Ok, let’s call them... vanilla and chocolate. Yeah?”

“...Fine.”

“Great. So. Say I’ve been against chocolate. It’s never been my favorite flavor. Always thought chocolate was kind of a douchebag. I guess you could say I was allergic to chocolate.”

The girls held their breath in their beds, not daring to make a sound.

“Sure, yes, I follow,” Audrey said tentatively.

“But maybe... maybe chocolate started expressing a preference for me,” Claire explained.

Audrey nodded. “Yeesss.”

“What does that mean?! Why is chocolate doing that? Chocolate has never done that!”

“That could be a good thing,” Audrey noted.

“No--I mean, yes, I guess--I don’t know! I don’t even know how to think about it,” Claire moaned.

“Why don’t you just start with thinking about the possibility of, ahem, trying chocolate,” Audrey suggested. “And don’t worry too much about it. What happens happens. See how it goes.”

“Okay.” Claire rolled over in her bed. “And what about you?”

“ _What_ about me?” Audrey asked defensively.

“Don’t pretend like vanilla isn’t _dying_ to get all up on that.”

“So crude.”

“In the immortal words of Run DMC, ‘Can I get it, yo,’” Claire proclaimed.

“Ugh.”

“Sorry oh wait NOT SORRY I’m a rap purist.”

“Vanilla is... very sweet,” Audrey conceded.

Claire nodded. “Yes.”

“And _extremely_ attractive. If you like your... ice cream flavors... in plaid flannel and built like an Olympic swimmer. Which, who doesn’t.”

“‘One glimpse of your eyes and my heart beats fast’,” Claire said. “Credit LL Cool J.”

“Quote another rapper to me,” Audrey replied. “I dare you.”

“They just express who I am,” Claire complained. “Anyway, I’m failing to see a downside here. Vanilla is a dream flavor.”

“We’re just going to be here for a summer! And then we’ve got to go back to school,” Audrey continued. “And they’ve got to go back to whatever they are going to do-”

“Being ice cream,” Claire supplied.

“Exactly,” Audrey agreed. “Plus, as you know, my last relationship didn’t exactly end swimmingly.”

“Yeah, but ‘Strawberry’,” Claire said, using air quotes, “was a huge pile of horse dung.”

“Putting him aside,” Audrey said warningly, “I’m not sure I’m ready for this.”

“I don’t see why you can’t try.”

“Maybe. I don’t know. We’ll see.”

“...”

“You can use _one_ more.”

“‘Well I'm all in - put it up on the board.’ Public Enemy.”

“Goodnight, Claire.”

“Night, Audrey.”

  
Day Hikes **  
**

“I’m pretty sure it was this way. Yeah, definitely this way, I remember that tree.”

“That tree is _exactly_ the same as all the other trees, Duke. Exactly. You’re going to claim we came up the hill that way based on a tree?! If only it had been someone’s job to bring a map. OH WAIT.”

“Listen Claire, you never explicitly told me to bring a map! You just assumed that I would. What was I supposed to do, use ESP? And the area around the lake isn’t that big--how was I supposed to know they had changed the trail since last summer. Stop being so uptight and actually try to help for once.”

“God, you long haired hippie! How are you ever going to get a job with hair like that? Forget job, you’re never going to get a girl with hair like that. You present yourself as an idiot who doesn’t understand personal hygiene.”

“At least I actually know my campers’ names.”

“Hey, the girls love their nicknames. It is a sign of affection, damn it. And you mixed up two of them yesterday I heard you!”

“In my defense, Jake and Bryan are twins.”

“NO EXCUSE.”

“You are so full of it.”

“That is the defense of the weak.”

“Wait, where the hell are our campers.”

“Oh shit. Fuck fuck fuckity fuck. TINY HUMANS WHERE ARE YOUUUU.”

“Mike? Garrett?”

“Stop showing off, I get it, you memorized like, everyone’s name. Bravo, Duke is so cool.”

“You know it.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“But seriously, where’d they go?”

“Ohhhhh no.”

“What?” Duke peered around Claire’s head to see what she had found. The note pinned to the tree was written in purple sparkly ink.

“Those tiny demons.”

“Oh man, they have those pens?! I love those,” Duke exclaimed. Claire silenced him with a look and grabbed the note off the tree.

“‘You two need to figure out your ~*issues*~’,” Claire used air quotes here, “‘and we wanted to go to cool off so we’re at the lake see you later losers’ and they spelled losers l-u-s-e-r-s.”

Duke rested his face in his hand. “Jesus, they know how to spell issues, you’d think they’d know how to spell losers,” he said, muffled.

“I think you’re focusing too much on literacy and not so much on the part where we lost our campers,” Claire said. Duke stood up straight and

“Listen, I am perfectly aware of the situation.”

“Really,” Claire replied. “Fine. Great. I’m so glad that you’re confident. Which way do we go?”

“...”

“Thank GOD you were here,” Claire smirked, taking his arm and pulling him to the path leading down the mountain. The rocks lining their path had been huge boulders once, but time had worn them down and broken them into thousands of pieces. They walked silently over granite fragments, Duke reaching out to feel the sun-warmth of the larger rocks every once in awhile. Out in the sun, they could hear rustling and bird chirps, but after entering the grove of pine trees, the shadows cooled everything down. The animals were quiet, and every noise was amplified: a stick breaking, the flutter of a bird’s wings breaking through the cover. Duke could even hear the soft sound of Claire’s breathing as their footsteps fell in unison.

Finally, the darkness began to lift. The trees grew farther apart, and the scent of pine was mixed with fresh air.

Duke glanced out between two of the trees and stopped in his tracks.

“Claire,” he called. She continued to hike forward, adjusting her heavy backpack.

“Hmmph?”

“Look at this.”

“I don’t have time to study your stupid special pinecone with extra leaves from a coniferous tree, Duke,” she mumbled. “I’m trying to find potential milk-carton children. I can see the headlines now: ‘Idiot Counselors Lose Ten Kids, Sentenced to Death’.” She drew the headline in the air with her hand, having finally stopped and turned to face him.

Duke put his hands on her shoulders and turned her around to face the lake. The sun was setting slowly over the mountains and the water reflected the shades of orange and red that were burning up the sky.

“You know, it's not enough just to be a beauty, Claire, you have to be able to appreciate beauty too,” he said, the changing patterns having mesmerized him. He gazed into the sky.

Claire admired the landscape, taking it all in, then scanned Duke silently, the sun slowly going down and the stillness of the forest around them. He still had his hands on her shoulders.

She spoke plainly. “Did you just quote _Chasing Liberty_ to me.” It wasn’t a question.

“You know, I was skeptical when the girls chose it for camp movie night last week, but actually I think it has a very good message of female empowerment.”

“Oh my god.” Claire shook her head in despair and glee. “You are never going to live this down.”

“Plus Mandy Moore is a smokeshow.” Duke punctuated this with a wolf-whistle.

“Duke liked _Chasing Liberty_.” Claire picked up her backpack and began to walk back down the path. Duke grabbed his and followed quickly, still talking.

“Who played her sassy european friend? I liked that chick too. And the tongue piercing!”

“Wait until you see _First Daughter_.”

“Is that a sequel? Are there sequels?”

“You are a pre-teen girl. And I don’t have time to tease you about this, because I definitely saw some of my teacup humans lying by the side of the pretty, pretty lake.”

  
Bedtime (again) **  
**

“Audrey?” Claire asked the dark cabin quietly.

“Yeah,” Audrey answered. “I’m up.”

“I might... I might like chocolate.”

There was silence.

Claire cleared her throat. “Did you hear me?”

“Chocolate would make any girl very happy,” Audrey replied. “And chocolate has definitely been displaying some more, how do I put this, more _mature_ flavor tendencies as of late.”

Silence again.

“Nothing’s for sure, yet,” Claire said.

“But you’ll let me know when that changes,” Audrey stated. “And until then, go to sleep Claire.”

“Night, Audrey.”

  
Fishing **  
**

Audrey pulled her hair back into a tight bun, but a couple of flyaways popped up at the first gust of wind. She sighed, and smoothed down her white and blue striped shirt. Turning to the girls to check and see if everyone had everything, a shout interrupted her. “Ready for a fun filled day of fishing, _chiquitas_?” Duke yelped as he sprang around the corner, running like a dog through the Everglades. He skidded to a stop in front of the girls and immediately pointed to Audrey’s shorts. “Jorts, Parker? Jean shorts? You’re better than that.”

Audrey laughed. “Bite me, Crocker. And where’s your rod and gear and-” She was cut off by the sight of Nathan trudging around the corner carrying what appeared to be something close to twenty five rods, reels, and tackles. He was followed by a group of fifteen boys, lathered with sunscreen. “Ahh,” she said, grinning. “Of course.”

“Good.. morning,” Nathan panted. “Ready... to... go?”

“Hold on there for a second, tiger,” Audrey said. “Let’s let you catch your breath first.” She took most of the rods from Nathan’s hands. Half she put in her nylon day-pack, the other half went to Duke.

“So not fair,” he complained as he was being loaded up. “We had a deal. Nathan carries the rods, I keep the kids in order.”

“Some deal, where there’s only one path and the three of us are at the back, front, and middle,” Audrey observed. “How were you going to watch the kids at the back of the line if you’re in the front?” Duke smirked and took the rods that were handed to him.

"I like your shoes," Nathan said, once he could draw a full breath. "They're... smart."

Audrey beamed and studied her brown flats. He had managed to complement her favorites, which showed off her pale pink toes. The girls had insisted on a nail-polish party last night, and Claire happened to have one called ‘Let’s Plié’ which Audrey couldn’t resist. "Thank you, Nathan. You think they'll be good for fishing?"

“They’re perfect,” he said.

Duke groaned. “Let’s get going before I die of exhaustion from all the weight I’m carrying. My delicate frame is not meant for pack-muling,” he added.

“You’re a big baby. My daddy could carry a hundred times that,” Barbie declared.

Duke eyed the girl and growled. “It’s like a million degrees.”

“That is demonstrably false. It’s probably mid-eighties," Nathan responded.

Duke made a guttural noise, preparing for a fight.

“It feels like a million degrees,” Audrey corrected. “Yes?”

Duke deflated. “Yeah, I guess.”

“Everyone gets grumpy when it’s hot out. We just need to keep our heads on straight.”

Nathan and Duke nodded.

Barbie squealed and ran towards a blonde man approaching them slowly. She jumped right into his arms and he swung her around before lifting her on his shoulders. When he got the the group, he lowered her down. The boys from the Lavender group began to whisper to each other.

“Hey,” Dwight said uncomfortably, looking at the campers and back to Audrey. “Am I early?”

“Nope, you’re right on time,” Audrey beamed. “Everyone, this is Barbie’s dad, Dwight. She put her hand on his shoulder. “Guys, Dwight is going to be joining us today! Isn’t that fun?” The kids nodded skeptically.

Looking up at Dwight, Duke said in awe, “I actually believe her now.”

“He could carry both us at the same time,” Nathan added under his breath.

“Hush,” Audrey said. “Everyone ready to go?” The kids cheered. “All right--Nathan, you take lead, Dwight and I’ll go in the middle of the pack, and Duke can bring up the rear.” The campers filed towards the path towards the fishing spot.

Barbie, bouncing up and down, took her father’s hand and pulled him towards the gap in the trees.

“Eeeee,” Audrey said. “This is so exciting.” Nathan and Duke glared at her in unison.

****

She sat on a large rock that had been warmed by the sun and looked out at the landscape. Across the way she could see the Lodge and several of the cabins. Pine trees covered the mountains, and the land around the camp. The sky had turned a shade of blue that almost didn’t seem real after the grey that morning, and the few clouds that there were only served to accentuate the brilliant color. The lake, almost green normally, carried the blue coloring as an overlay. She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and absentmindedly scratched a bite on her ankle. The water spread out in a wide expanse in front of her and, although it had ripples, looked so steady she felt she could walk on it. The reverie was only broken by the happy chatter of children below. Dwight’s voice boomed occasionally, correcting a stance here, fixing a line there. The children loved him, as she knew they would. She closed her eyes and lay back on the boulder, letting the sun soak into her and breathing the clean air slowly in and out. “I wouldn’t mind,” she said softly. “Living here.”

“Parker,” Nathan suddenly called. “You coming?”

She opened her eyes and lifted herself up, stretching her arms and legs. “On my way,” she replied.

  
Early Morning Swims (And Late Night Skinny Dipping) **  
**

“Ok guys, remember that the water’s going to be pretty cold. You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

“Does everyone have their towels?”

“YESSSSS.”

“Can we do belly flops?”

“No, but you can do your best dives! You’ve been practicing, I know, so you’re gonna be really good. We’ll go together, yeah?”

“Audrey, Everett poked me.”

“No, I didn’t! I didn’t touch you. See, not touching you I’m not touching you I’m-”

“Everett, come stand over here. Amy, you can leave your shoes on the dock. It’s okay, I promise no one will touch them.”

“Parker, wasn’t Claire supposed to be here?”

“I let her sleep in--she was up with a sick kid last night.”

“Oh. Is she okay?”

“Just tired.”

“But maybe fatigue is one of the symptoms. She should go to the nurse, get some antibiotics. Has anyone brought her orange juice?”

“Duke, trust me. She’s fine. You can come back with me and see her if you want.”

“Oh, um. I... I actually can’t. I have to do something with Nathan.”

“Do what?”

“Something.”

“Okay, mysterious pirate man, your loss. Ready, kids?”

“YEEEAAAAAAHHHHH.”

“Let’s go! 1, 2, 3, JUMP!”

[Splashes]

“AHHHHHHHH.”

“Oh sweet Jesus, that’s cold.”

“Get out get out get out get out.”

“Audrey, Everett pushed me.”

“Back to the cabins, guys, it’s almost time for breakfast.”

****

“I hate you so much.”

“Eva and Jordan are already to the rock! Everyone is beating us. Come on, come on!”

“Please, Claire, remind me why we’re friends. I appear to be having some sort of long-term memory loss.”

“If I had to guess, I’d say it’s probably because of my winning personality and plethora of pop culture references. Any more cases you need me to solve, Mulder?”

“You are going to pay in what I’m sure is going to be a painful and humiliating manner.”

“Sure, sure. You’re all talk. Hurry up.”

“AHHH. Good god, this water is freezing.”

“Duck your head under. Quick, like this.”

“If you splash me, so help me God, I will not be held responsible for my actions.”

“No splashing, understood.”

“Ok, let’s go, let’s go, touch the rock and then back.”

“Freestylin’.”

“Yeah, yeah, come on.”

“...”

“What do you call that stroke?”

“What?”

“It’s like a combination-freestyle-butterfly-doggie-paddle.”

“Are you judging my swimming ability?”

“Well, you’re missing quite a bit of water there.”

“Listen, not all of us were on our high school swim team.”

“Sorry, sorry.”

“...”

“...”

“Whew. That was longer than I thought it’d be.”

“Ok, I actually have to admit, once my whole body went numb, that was pretty fun.”

“I told you so.”

“Claire?”

“Hmm?”

“Where are our clothes.”

“What?”

“ _Where. Are. Our. Clothes._ ”

“I-I put them right here! Check behind that rock.”

“They’re definitely not here.”

“HEY LADIES! Looking for these?”

“ _Oh my god_.”

“No. No, they didn’t do what I think they did.”

“We didn’t feel that skinny dipping set an appropriate example for the young, impressionable children, so we took matters into our own hands.”

“Good luck getting back! SEE YOU ALL TOMORROW!”

“They’re dead. They’re all dead.”

“Oh no, they’re more than dead. They’ve gone past dead. I’m going to kill them and then figure out how to reanimate them so I can kill them again.”

“They Parent-Trapped us.”

“‘Come skinny-dipping’, you said. ‘It’ll be fun,’ you said. ‘We can bond with the other girls’ counselors,’ you said.”

“I can’t believe they Parent-Trapped us.”

“ALL OF THEM? THEY TOOK _EVERYONE’S_ CLOTHES?”

“Callaghan, if you dragged all of us into one of your damn feuds, so help me God...”

“Did anyone see who it was?”

“Nope.”

“It’s too fucking dark to see anything!”

“God, it’s even colder outside of the water than it was in the water. I didn’t think that was possible.”

“It was Tommy and that Crocker kid.”

“Are you _sure_ , Eva? You wouldn’t want to be responsible for the loss of innocent life.”

“This is his necklace, right? And I’d know Tommy’s laugh anywhere.”

“She’s right.”

“Give me that.”

“Well, that’s it then.”

“Tomorrow’s camp activities are going to include ‘Gravedigging’.”

“Death is coming to Haven. But first, someone fashion me a stylish yet practical ensemble out of these sticks and leaves.”

“Or we could just run.”

“Ok, let’s go with that.”

“Oh good lord.”

“Fucking _chocolate_.”

“What’d you say?”

“Huh? Nothing. I didn’t say anything.”

 ****  
**** Photography (or what was supposed to be Photography)

“ _YOU_.” Claire strode towards Duke, who was showing the group of kids assembled in front of him to change the focus on an SLR. He resisted the urge to sprint away.

“What do you have to say for yourself.”

“Why, hello, Claire,” Duke said innocently. “What a pleasure to see you this fine morning. Me? Oh yes, I’m doing quite well, thank you _so much_ for asking. You know, I didn’t actually know what the word ‘glower’ actually meant before today, but you appear to be illustrating it quite nicely.”

She pulled out the necklace and swung it in front of his face.

“Ohhh, shi-shiitake mushrooms,” he grimaced.

Claire nodded. “Yes, I think that accurately describes the situation you are currently in.”

“Stupid evidence,” he muttered. “Gets me every time.”

“You think you’re _sooo funny_ Crocker. Girls just fall at your feet and you sail through life footloose and fancy-free, fu-”

“Before you say anything else, there are children here,” he pointed out. “Guiltless, virgin-eared children.”  


“Children,” Claire said, enunciating each word clearly and continuing to stare right at Duke, “I think you all are ready to start taking pictures. Everyone grab a camera and stay within this area but farther than ten meters away from Duke and I here. We have some things to discuss.”  


The campers hesitated, looking for approval. Duke nodded to indicate it was okay. The kids grabbed their cameras and ran off quickly. The two didn’t move until the campers were out of earshot.  


“Ok,” he sighed. “Let me have it.” ** **  
****

“Greasy-haired, lazy ingrate,” Claire said, poking Duke with her finger to punctuate each point. “Guitar-playing, no respect for...” She trailed off. “Wait.”

Duke cringed, knowing what was coming. “I can’t believe you used guitar player as an insult. It is a perfectly respectable hobby, thank you very much.”

Claire pulled him around so she could inspect him. “Duke. What happened to your greasy hair.”

He gave up. It wasn’t exactly the kind of thing you could hide for very long. “I got rid of it,” he admitted.

“You WHAT.”

“I cut it,” he said defiantly.

“You cut your hair.”

“Yeah.”

“ _Gott im Himmel_. Why in hell’s name would you do that?”

“You know, it was always getting in the way during baseball and it was such a pain to wash,” he lied. “Do you know German? That’s fascinating. Let’s talk about that for ten, maybe twenty minutes.”

Claire stopped him. “Duke.”

“All right, all right,” he muttered. “I heard that... some girls might possibly sort of like a guy with shorter hair.”

Claire’s hand fell from where it had been feeling the ends of Duke’s hair. “You heard.”

“Heard, was yelled at,” he said. “Same difference.”

Claire stood there, speechless. “Well,” she finally said, her face blank. Duke stared at the sky, unable to watch her.

She took his chin in her hand and turned him towards her. Her smile slowly filled her face. “That’s a whole different ball game,” she said.

****

The girl campers hiding behind the lodge giggled. The boy campers groaned for the girls’ sake while punching each other in excitement.

“I think we can call this a success,” said Buffy.

“Gross,” said Luke.

Duke and Claire, in a passionate embrace just fifteen meters away, were oblivious to it all.

 ****  
**** Dinner

The lodge was filled to the brim. Fifteen minutes after dinner had started, about half the kids were already sitting down and munching away. The other half were fighting about who had been first in line for the refried beans and spanish rice. Audrey had shepherded the girls through the long lines and was drinking deeply from a glass of crappy lemonade.

Claire sat down at the Oak table, grabbing the salt and dropping her plate at the same time.

“Would it kill them to spice up these enchiladas a little? Where’s the hot sauce? Beth, stop hogging it,” she said, reaching down the table. “That’s right, fork it over. I would kill for some Cholula right about now. Or Sriracha. Man, would these be good with Sriracha.”

“Nice food appropriation,” Audrey grinned.

“I try,” Claire replied. “Lorelei and Rory Gilmore taught me well.”

Audrey sat and watched her friend attack the spicy Mexican food. Claire looked up and cocked her head.

“What’s up, Buttercup?”

“I like your necklace,” Audrey observed.

Claire smiled smugly. “This old thing?”

“I hear through the camper grapevine you’ve got some news for me. And even if I didn’t know, you’re glowing like it’s Christmas morning. Or like you’ve got a bun in the oven. In fact, you don’t have anything _else_ to tell me, do you?”

“I am not pregnant,” Claire responded. “You hear that, eavesdropping girls?” The table giggled. “I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR ANY RUMORS TO THAT EFFECT. No, he just put a ring on it. Or a necklace, as it were.” She pulled the chain forward off her neck for Audrey’s inspection.

“Very nice,” Audrey approved. “I give my blessing, even though he didn’t come and ask me for it. Not a great first move, I gotta say.”

Claire winked and leaned in close. “I can take care of that. HEY CROCKER,” she yelled, without moving her gaze from Audrey. The large room fell silent. Dave and Vince came out from the kitchen.

Duke appeared at her elbow. “Light of my life, joy of my existence?” The room snorted collectively.

“Darling, I think we’ve missed an important part of our courtship,” Claire said. “The blessing.”

“How could I have been so remiss?” he wailed. Claire cleared plates out of the way, just in time for Duke to leap over the table. “Ms. Audrey Parker, BFF of Ms. Claire Callaghan, I ask Your Generous Blonde-ness for CC’s hand in girlfriend-ship.”

Audrey waited out the dramatic pause before replying, “You have it.” The room erupted into raucous applause and cheers. Dave let out a wolf whistle.

Duke leaned over, took Claire’s face in his hands, and kissed her passionately before whispering to Audrey, “If I have my way, it won’t be long until you get pinned as well.”

Audrey’s face turned bright red. “DUKE.”

“Going steady,” he grinned. “Like in _Bye, Bye Birdie_? Why, what did you think I meant?” He jumped out of the way before Audrey could swat him and sauntered back to his table, blowing kisses all the way.

“And there you go.” Claire said with a mouth full of enchilada. “Good enough?”

“Definitely good enough,” Audrey agreed.

Claire put down her fork and called, “Vince, would it kill ya to throw some jalapeños in here?”

He peeked his head out of the kitchen and replied, “You know, I honestly think it would.”

Claire shook her head. “What could have been,” she said sadly.

“Chocolate,” Audrey smiled.

“Chocolate,” Claire agreed.

 ****  
**** Campfire, part tres

Nathan and Duke walked up to the stage. Gary and Aaron went with them, proudly carrying the guitars. They had been chosen as the best behaved boys from Lavender for the week, and so had earned this honor. All chatter immediately stopped. The littlest campers jumped to attention, trying to shake sleep out of their eyes and sitting with the best posture they could muster. The oldest forgot to pretend like they weren’t interested. The counselors smiled at each other. Chief Wuornos lit up. The boys handed the guitars over and scampered back to their seats.

“So, this is kind of like the last song we did, at least in the lyrics,” Nathan said, tuning his guitar. “But it just sounds so good.”

“We couldn’t pass it up,” Duke chimed in. “It’s usually a little more fast paced, but when we sang it today, it sounded like a ballad to us. So we’re experimenting.”

“And we hope you enjoy it.” Nathan found Audrey’s eyes in the crowd. “All of you,” he added.

Duke counted down. “ And a-1, and a-2, and a-3.”

****

 

 

_We were born in this little town_

_Growin' up, I was counting down_

_Every single day, ‘till we made our getaway_

_But you said you could never see yourself_

_Trying to make a life anywhere else_

_This would be your home and I was on my own_

_But ever since you said goodbye_

_I've been out here on the wind_

_Baby you would be surprised_

_All the places you have been_

_I've seen you in_

  
Duke looked over at Nathan, who was firmly concentrated on his guitar. He played with everything he had, like it was his last chance. The crowd could feel it. Some of the counselors’ eyes were watering. Even Chief Wuornos was clearing his throat roughly during the bridge.

 

 

_Nova Scotia waitin' out a blizzard_

_California dancin' 'cross the desert_

_Watchin' the sun set in Barbaree_

_No matter where you choose to be_

_In my heart I'll always see you_

_Everywhere_

****

Duke’s voice carried out farther, over the lake. But Nathan held the note for longer. His voice lingered on the last syllable, drawing it out.

****

 

 

_Now days_

_When I'm passin' through_

_I turn the conversation to you_

_And I hear you're doin' fine_

_Livin' out by the spruce pine_

_Got some man, not there every night_

_a couple of degrees and the kind of life_

_you wanted to lead_

_Guess you could say the same for me_

_Cause you and I made our choices_

_All those years ago_

_Still I know I'll hear your voice_

_And see you down the road_

****

“ _Breathe_ , girl,” Claire whispered to Audrey, and Audrey exhaled, suddenly aware she hadn’t done so in a while. It took all her strength not to choke on the next inhale. Claire watched, worried until Audrey gave her a nod. They turned back to Nathan and Duke. The campers were mesmerized.

****

 

 

_Oklahoma driving 'cross the prairie_

_In Dallas, Texas--isn't that where we_

_Always said we would like to fly_

_Never did so maybe that's why you're on_

_Every highway just beyond the high-beams_

_Right beside me in all of my sweet dreams_

_No matter where you choose to be_

_In my heart I'll always see you_

_Everywhere_

****

After the prayer, Nathan gave his guitar to Duke, who led the boys back to the cabin. Claire and Audrey were gathering their girls together, gently waking up Clarice, who had been found lying horizontally next to one of the log benches.

“ _Audrey_ ,” Nathan called. She flinched, but held back, waving Claire ahead.

“We have to stop meeting like this,” she joked, turning away to look at the moon’s reflection on the lake.

He took a deep breath, psyching himself up, and moved in front of her. “You know that flannel shirt you found on your bed after the first day?”

“My favorite shirt.”

“Well, it wasn’t part of the counselor welcome package. Claire had already bought hers when we went to town the day before. I put it there. It was my shirt.” He shifted from one foot to another. “I gave you my shirt because from the first day I met you, I’ve known how much you mean to me.”

He reached out and let his hand rest on her arm. Startled, she flinched and jumped back a foot.

“I-I can’t do this right now,” she stuttered.

A flash of pain jumped across Nathan’s face, before it settled into neutral. He spoke quietly, trying not to spook her further. “Oh. Is something wrong?”

“Let’s t-talk about this another time, okay?” Audrey looked up at him quickly. “ _I’m sorry_ ,” she whispered, before turning and sprinting back to the cabins.

  
Bedtime (finally) **  
**

Claire brought the girls back from brushing their teeth in the bathroom to find Audrey sprawled face down in her pillow. “Ooooooooh _girl_.”

“Mrrrphh,” Audrey mumbled.

“Parker, what did you do?”

This got the head up and indignant. “Why do you assume that I did it?”

“Ok, you’re right, you’re right,” Claire soothed. “I’m sorry I jumped to conclusions. What happened?”

“I did it,” Audrey wailed, and threw her head back down. The girls watched in fascination.

“Chiquitas,” Claire began, “this is a very sensitive period for Audrey.”

“Because of Nathan?” Mimi-me asked.

Claire stared. “ _How did you know about that_?”

Barbie added, “You mean like how we got you to like Duke?”

Claire’s jaw dropped. “I don’t know what you mean by that. I am sure as hell going to find out, but we cannot deal with you right now. We have an injured comrade.” She bent over and whispered to Audrey, “I think I taught them too well. _The students have become the masters._ Do they have an off switch?”

Audrey groaned, and hit Claire with a flying teddy bear.

“Ok, ok. I can see you are in pain. I am here for you, girl. Whatever you need. Ben & Jerry’s, a human pyramid, I can make that happen.”

“Why would I need a human pyramid?”

“I just thought it would be a shame to let four hours of training the midgets go to waste. But no human pyramid, that’s fine.” Claire plopped down on the bed and landed on top of Audrey.

“You’re an idiot,” came Audrey’s muffled voice.

“I know you probably don’t want to hear this,” Claire sighed, “but you’re exhibiting classic avoidance behavior.”

Audrey propped herself up on her elbows. “I am not interested in your _Psych 1_ evaluation, Claire,” she snapped.

“Just because your last boyfriend was a dick who pretended to be someone he wasn’t, doesn’t mean that Puppy Wuornos will be. And I got an A in Psych 1, thank you very much.”

She rolled over and scanned Claire. “Brody went back to Colorado because of me. _He left the state_.”

“Again, I repeat. Dick. Everyone loved that dude for absolutely no reason that I could see. And he made you feel guilty for wanting to do well in school and doing what you love!”

“Claire.”

“Sorry I’m not sorry.”

“You are being negative helpful right now. What’s the opposite of helpful? You are being hurtful.”

“Ok, we’ll go and leave you to your self pity,” Audrey said. “But let me give you one last piece of advice. People like you and me, we need therapy. We take on everybody else’s crazy, pretty soon we have no room left for our own. Nathan really, really likes you. I mean, all of you. He’s seen you in the mornings too, which, let me tell ya, can be a bit of a shock. He’s probably not thrilled right now that the girl of his dreams is here with me instead of with him gettin’ jiggy down by the lake, but he is a good man ( _much_ better than Brody) and he’s not going to bolt at the first sign of trouble. He’s gonna stick around.”

“...And you didn’t even use any rap quotes.”

“I am such a good friend. Girls, say goodnight to Audrey,” she called.

“GOODNIGHT AUDREY,” the girls chorused.

****

“I don’t know what to do,” Nathan moaned. “I mean, what did I do?”

“Beats me, man. Obviously, it wasn’t anything that _I_ said, because that would be crazy. Definitely nothing that I said. And not during dinner.”

Nathan was oblivious. “Did I move too fast?”

Duke choked on his contraband candy bar. “Snails move faster than you two.”

Nathan wailed under his breath and rolled around.

“Patience, young grasshopper,” Duke counseled. “She’ll come around. I know Parker.”

“... I’m not sure you’re the best person to trust right now actually, dude.”

"Crazy talk. But you gotta go to sleep, man, we've got Capture the Flag to deal with tomorrow."

Panic filled Nathan’s voice. "Oh god. The little maniacs are going to tear us apart."

"Yeah, I know. Thank god you stopped referring to them exclusively as ‘young men’ or we’d never get through this." He paused before reaching over to touch Nathan’s shoulder. “Tomorrow’s another day, man. You’ll figure it out.”

 ****  
**** Capture the Flag

As the campers sat on the steps on the deck, chattering in anticipation, Claire absentmindedly ran her fingers through Audrey’s hair.

“Are you ready for this?” she asked. “You know, I could tell the Chief that you’re sick.”

“I’m fine,” Audrey replied.

“As long as you’re sure...”

Audrey cocked her head and raised an eyebrow.

“All right, all right, you’re a grown woman,” Claire said, throwing her hands in the air.

Duke jumped over the kids on the steps below and landed next to his campers. “Hey Audrey, babe. _Wait_ until you see baby Wuornos.”

Claire glanced at Audrey for her reaction, and then tried to play it off as though she was examining something in the woods behind her. “Where _is_ Nathan?”

Audrey saw the aviators first. Only once she had seen the perfect accessory was she able to fully take in the green army jacket over his trademark plaid, crisp and cornered to perfection. The outfit was perfected with matching cargo pants and heavy brown work boots, crunching sticks and leaves as Nathan strode into the center of camp. His hair had been quaffed and slicked down with hair gel which he had to have borrowed from Duke. His mouth was set in a firm, no-nonsense line and every step he took sounded like a tiny gun shot.

After about a nanosecond, Claire and Duke cracked up. Eva leaned over. “Did he iron his flannel? _Can_ you iron flannel? Is this one of the great unsolvable questions of the universe?”

Nathan stopped directly in front of the assembled mass of excited kids. Their conversations slowly faded away and all of the little heads swiveled towards the front. He rolled up his sleeves and began to speak.

“Alexander the Great. Julius Caesar. Cleopatra. _To-day_ ,” he commanded, pronouncing each syllable like it was a different word, “ _you too_ pick up the stylus of legend and carve your name in the annals of immortality.”

“Stop. I can’t handle this. I literally cannot handle Captain ‘Top Gun’ Wuornos,” Julia whispered.

“Your actions today echo the heroes and heroines of old, and sound in these mountains for eternity. YOU WILL be Hector on the ramparts. YOU WILL BE Jason and the fleece. You shall launch a thousand ships, and then a thousand more. You _choose_ that fate. You _choose_ your destiny.”

Duke was rolling on the ground. “ _Can’t. Stop. Laughing._ ”

“If my boyfriend chokes to death listening to this, I blame you,” Claire announced. “Also, do you think Wuornos realizes that the campers have no idea who the Argonauts were or what the _Iliad_ was?”

Audrey cracked a smile, but as soon as Claire went back to watching Nathan, the smile dropped. She watched Nathan, continuing to proclaim his message to the gathered campers.

“Now I want a good, clean match today. This game is based on respect and mutual admiration. So everyone raise your right hand and repeat after me.”

The campers and counselors raised their rights hands obediently and sat, waiting.

“ _AND REPEAT AFTER ME_ ,” Nathan yelled.

“AND REPEAT AFTER ME,” the campers shouted back.

“Oh sweet baby Jesus,” Duke said under his breath. “He’s finally cracked.”

Nathan continued, the campers repeating each line after him: ** **  
****

“I, camper of said name, hereby promise to honor the code of the game,

to listen to my counselors and heed their words.

To love my enemy, as I would my teammate

for it is they who challenge my skill.

To love my teammate as I love myself,

for we stand as one on this auspicious day.”

Nathan had lowered his voice as he proceeded through the lines. When he realized this, he began to yell again.

“ _I, CAMPER OF SAID NAME_ ,” he shouted.

“I, CAMPER OF SAID NAME,” the kids screamed.

“ _HEREBY PLEDGE ONE FINAL THING._ ”

“HEREBY PLEDGE ONE FINAL THING.” The littlest campers were blue in the face.

“That I will strive my hardest, with all my being

In the name of the Chief, until I have captured the flag.”

With this, Nathan took a deep breath and yelled, “Ladies and gentlemen, IT’S TIME FOR CAPTURE THE FLAG.” The campers cheered and rushed past him to the line, counselors proceeding to their assigned ‘safety net’ positions. He whipped off his sunglasses so his eyes were finally visible and accidentally caught Audrey staring at him. Her stomach fluttered. He flinched and turned away, disappearing into the forest. Audrey turned back to the group of counselors at the start position.

****

“Hey, can you guys watch the line for us?”

Tommy glanced at Eva and shrugged. “Yeah, sure, no problem.”

“We’ve got to be here anyway, with the first-aid kit,” Eva added. “Just be back soon-ish in case the Chief wanders by.”  


“Sounds good,” Audrey said. “We’ll be back.”  


“Cool beans,” Duke remarked, as the three strode away and crashed on the wooden deck.  


“Eighty years old,” Claire mumbled.  


“Heh? HEH?” Duke yelled, cupping his hand to his ear. “WHAT WAS THAT, YOUNG WHIPPERSNAPPER? MY EARS AIN’T WHAT THEY USED TO BE.”  


Audrey laughed and Duke winked at her.  


“Now move over, your butt is taking up all the room. There’s nothing left for me and Parker.”

Claire sighed dramatically as she stood up, hand to forehead. “It amazes me how some men struggle with chivalry.”

Duke pulled a flask out of his back pocket. “I’ve got absinthe,” he said. “ _Aaand_ I made you a lanyard.”

Claire flopped down on top of him. “Take me away, my prince.”

Audrey laughed. “You two were made for each other.”

“Oh, _were_ we now,” Claire said skeptically. “Tell me, babe,” she said twisting around so her face was next to Duke’s. “Was,” she said, punctuating each of her words with light kisses on his face, “it love at first sight?”

“Love at first spat,” he declared grandly, grabbing her and rolling them over as she giggled. “Love at first camp. Love at first you-punching-my-arm.”

“ _Delightful_ ,” she replied, attempting to look stern but glowing with happiness. “Something to tell the grandkids.”

“Exactly,” he said, squishing her under his lanky frame as she squirmed, then gave up. She arched her head to peck his lips. He grinned, admiring her. “We got on like a house on fire.”

“I’m going to go check and make sure the kids haven’t killed each other yet,” Audrey announced, standing up.

“Try to find Nathan,” Duke yelled after her. “Make sure he hasn’t transitioned into a mountain man and lost all sense of his humanity. I want that to wait until I can see it!”

****

Audrey crashed her way through the forest, breaking branches and sticks. “God, I would be the worst hunter ever,” she muttered to herself. “The deer would laugh in my face.”

She heard Nathan before she saw him. Booming noises and his impression of supersonic speed sounds carried through the forest. She swallowed, and followed the audio trail. When she found him, he was flying a little girl, fit to split her sides with laughter, through the air on his back. “Vrooooom, vroom, vrooooom,” he spluttered. “ _Eeeeeee_.”

“You make an excellent plane, Maverick.” Audrey leaned against a tree, her arms crossed over her chest, watching them with a smile.

Nathan turned and stopped. He crouched down so the girl could slide off his back. “Sweetheart, are you good to go play?” he asked her. She smiled happily. “Ok, go get that flag!” She ran off between the trees, calling for her friends. Nathan turned to Audrey, shifting his weight from one foot to another uncomfortably.

Audrey shivered, running her hands up and down her arms, suddenly freezing.

“Parker,” he said, approaching her carefully. “You’re not dressed for the forest.”

“I’m warm blooded,” she answered. “I’ll be okay.”

Nathan shrugged off his green army jacket and handed it to her, keeping a safe distance between them. “You might as well take this,” he said.

Audrey protested, “Nathan, it’s cold, you need it.”

“No, please, I insist. I don’t feel it, I swear.”

“You have goosebumps,” Audrey said. “Liar.”

“Seriously, I’m fine. I’d, I’d much rather you had it.”

Nathan grinned happily and adjusted his posture, trying to convince her he was impervious to the brisk weather. Audrey shrugged on the coat. It was old and worn out from years, maybe decades, of use, but sturdy. The elbows were threadbare, and she ran her fingers over the thin areas. She worried the fringe on the sleeve for a second, then made her decision. She leaned in, stood on her tiptoes, and pecked Nathan on the cheek. Shocked, he put his hand to the spot, just feeling for the touch before realizing that Audrey had kissed him. He turned his head to contemplate her, eyes wide.

“You’re a good man, Nathan Wuornos,” she said. “A little shy, but we can work on that.”

His eyes flickered down and back up tentatively. He cocked his head and began to smile slowly.

She went on, afraid to stop. “Nathan, I’m really sorry that I pushed you away, I never-”

“Parker, I’m still here,” he assured her gently. “I never left.”

“Yeah,” she admitted.

“We’ll have time for this.”

“I just... I don’t want to miss the opportunity,” she finished.

“You won’t,” he said, brushing her hair back from her face with his fingertips. “You aren’t.”

****

“ _WE GOT IT._ WE GOT ITTTT!”

“Finally,” Claire snorted. “Took you long enough.” She pulled about the large brass bell and began to ring back and forth. Children scrambled back from every corner of the camp. “Hear ye, hear ye,” she called. “This year’s Capture-the-Flag contest has been completed. May the winners have peace and prosperity. May their rule be a peaceful one. And may the flag forever be found in time for dinner.”

“Amen,” Duke said, solemnly. Claire punched him in the arm and handed the bell over to Jordan, who began to announce the winners and send the kids back to their cabins.

Audrey and Nathan emerged from the woods sheepishly. She wore his jacket over her flimsy tank-top and tried to pat down her frazzled hair before realizing it was pointless. Nathan’s flannel was gaping open where the buttons had been mismatched with their holes. Duke grabbed Claire by the arm and without a word pointed towards the couple walking slowly towards the stage. Both had nervous grins on their faces. They kept attempting to casually glance at each other, and then flicking back straight ahead before anyone could catch them doing so. But Nathan looked at Audrey and her face turned up to his at the same time and their eyes met. They almost tripped over a camper running in front of them before they could turn back.

Finally, they stopped in front of Duke and Claire, who were standing on the deck side to side, arms folded across their chests. Nathan slipped his hand into Audrey’s as they stood on the ground below. He gripped tightly once. Their cheeks flushed.

“So,” Claire said smugly. “What do you two have to say for yourselves?”

“And before you answer,” Duke added, “may the record show the defendants have pine needles in their hair.”

Nathan glanced at Audrey, who was looking down. His heart fell for a second.

She started to laugh. It started as a low giggle, and progressed to a full body, quivering-with-joy laugh. Nathan saw what was happening before anyone else and his smile broke like the sun through clouds, bursting across his face. He squeezed her hand, kissed her on the cheek, and finally moved behind her to envelop her in his arms. She put her hand to her lips, her eyes watering, as Duke and Claire finally broke too.

“I always believed in you,” Duke said proudly. To Audrey, he added, “I taught him _everything_ he knows.”

“I can’t stop smiling,” Audrey confided to Claire. “My cheeks hurt.”

“Congratulations, Audrey Parker. Mr. Audrey Parker,” Claire beamed. “Who’s up for some ice cream to celebrate?”

 


End file.
